Balk

All In Good Fun

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:23:05 -0500

Okay, that’s the end of my tumblr. Doree, it was all in good fun. You know that you’re one of my favorite people and we will always be bonded by the time we spent together in the trenches. Don’t worry, this was just for a laugh.

OR WAS IT?

Yeah. It was.

Here is a joke about Doree Shafrir.

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:18:29 -0500

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doree Shafrir.
Doree Shafrir who?
[At this point in the joke Doree punches you in the kidneys and laughs at you as you writhe around in pain on the dirty sidewalk.]

Doree Shafrir's favorite thing...

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:05:00 -0500

is getting low-priced manicures from poor immigrants who are desperate to make money so they can pay back the snakehead who smuggled them into the country before he kills their families back home.

Doree Shafrir’s second-favorite thing is punching elderly Hispanic women in the kidneys and then laughing at them as they writhe around in pain on the dirty sidewalk.

Doree Shafrir’s third favorite thing? When celebrities get cancer.

Little known fact.

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:43:23 -0500

Doree Shafrir once tried to put up a post on Gawker that was just a list of “other things R. Kelly likes to pee on.” (Bushes, antique furniture, the upper deck at Wrigley Field, etc., you get the gist) but Choire Sicha wouldn’t let her. Now we hear that Choire pitched the very same idea to Doree’s editors at the Observer and they totally love it. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?

"Look at me! I'm Doree Shafrir!"

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:37:29 -0500

“I’m so virtuous I eat salad instead of fries! Suck it, fatties!”

Why Doree Loves "Papa Don't Preach" so much.

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:35:13 -0500

Doree EATS babies. More people keeing their babies, more babies for Doree to eat.

Doree Shafrir's Secret

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:32:47 -0500

Her name is really pronounced “Door-ray.”

If there's anything we need to hear less about...

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:28:32 -0500

it’s dogs. And/or karaoke. What’s next, are you gonna tell us about the dream you had last night?

Flip.com

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:25:50 -0500

Doree’s unbridled glee at the demise of flip.com is both churlish and unworthy of her. I’m very disappointed.

My fortune cookie

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:24:00 -0500

“You will never run out of things to make fun of from Doree’s tumblr.

LUCKY NUMBERS: 6 10 13 27 42 49 51”

The Doree Chronicles

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:21:42 -0500

Coul Doree have picked an uglier color for her tumblr? It looks like a rec room from the seventies.

This is my tumblr blog.

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:13:21 -0500

I will use it to make fun of Doree Shafrir’s tumblr blog.